Off the Radar

I’m struggling pretty badly as of late. I’m being bombarded by to many new things and am not used to that anymore.  I mean I don’t know how to handle that kind of thing, maybe I didn’t the last time though either.
I’m not sure when this stuff got kicked up but at one point while [...]

On to Round Two or, at Least One Part

Sorry, not gonna get to the Tara post tonight.
That Remeron last night knocked me into next week lol! Seriously I shook myself out of sleep at 8:40 am thinking it was much later and I had missed my shrink appointment but thankfully, no.  I just wanted to stay snug in bed (partly because it was [...]

Getting into the Meat

This week I had my appointment on Monday which ended up really great, I needed the day to chill.
Just started out with saying that things have gone back to usual for the most part with my mom and I.  We aren’t really talking but I’m less angry.  I still feel like I’m walking on egg [...]

Security Blankets

I wrote a post over on my LiveJournal Blog (link on left panel: Into the Darkness), not sure why now I put it over there lol.  Anyway, it was on trauma as a security blanket.  Sounds weird maybe but I realize that sometimes I’m really afriad of what healing might mean, fear of the unknown.  [...]

Bad Night

Not doing well. Don’t even feel like writing. Don’t feel like sharing this but I guess I am anyway. Why I don’t know. I’d go take my pill and just knock out…that’s what I’d really like to do but, I have to get up and go to the doc’s tomorrow.  I haven’t been taking it [...]

Update of sorts

I’m feeling so much better. They cayenne pepper is working wonders lol.  Also making sure to keep up on my fruits and veggies which I hear might help too (though I swear I was eating them like crazy).  Have doctors appointment on Wed (sorry kind of a note to self in case I lose time…more [...]

Triggered Out

Figured I’d try to write this while I’m in it.  Woke up today feeling rather icky then started thinking about some things started to try and find some more info and ended up triggering myself out even more.  Ok, so what the heck am I talking about?
A trigger can be anything really and there are [...]

Picking up from last night

Here is the link to the article about stressful pregnancy and Fibromyalgia. So there’s that part of it.
Then there is the whole part my last therapist was trying to get me to see. It’s only really clicking in now. It made sense before, I just couldn’t grasp that it applied to me though. I think [...]

Sorting it out

I think this has all been one part body memory, one part sensory overload, and maybe one part a multiple things (yeah, in summary multiple things )
There is some weird lotion smell in my room right now that’s driving me up the wall. Can’t figure out where it’s coming from. All day smells [...]

Many minds, one body

I’m so antsy today, I can’t stand it. My body doesn’t feel right. I feel like I wish I didn’t have a body. It feels really uncomfortable. Not sure what it’s about. Maybe is it because yesterday was so quiet and tried to cram so much into the day? Today is pretty quiet too though. [...]