Off the Radar

I’m struggling pretty badly as of late. I’m being bombarded by to many new things and am not used to that anymore.  I mean I don’t know how to handle that kind of thing, maybe I didn’t the last time though either.
I’m not sure when this stuff got kicked up but at one point while [...]

Where I went “wrong”

I think I figured it out today, where I went “wrong” (see the clip).  The one “wrong” thing I did.
I trusted.
I think I’m slowly learning to live with that. It feels so horribly slow though sometimes, I get so frustrated with my trust issues. It hurts and it’s scary but slowly I’m learning trust is [...]

Having a problem with saying the wrong thing

I almost always feel like I’m saying the wrong things in my outside life but now I realize I often find myself saying the wrong things in my inner world as well.  It makes me feel awful and I don’t know how to change it at the moment.  I’m not sure how to describe it [...]

Negative introjects and censors

Gah, I opened this window to post like an hour ago…forgot why I even wanted to type this (I knew what I wanted to say I just didn’t know what the point was or anything like that. Although most times I don’t know what the point is so…bah…anyway)…then I started reading other peoples blogs and [...]

The Ripple Effect

Man, dunno really what’s going on as of late. Been quiet. Not in my head so much (although 2 or more days in a row I had that scary blank mind feeling when no one is around), just I’m not talking to people much, not posting much anywhere, not goofing off (Little Parts), [...]

Layers Upon Layers of Onion

I’ve mentioned to a lot of people that I’m super curious about how other multiple systems work. It’s just so fascinating to me how we can be so different from one another and often so similar having never met, having never talked to a soul about our world until we got into therapy or met [...]

Apparently Normal People

So, things are…meh.  Don’t feel like talking.  I am at the moment just kind of forcing myself to type this, not really sure why other than to say…I’m still here.  Plus I said I would say something about this new map I’m working on. Well, maybe I’ll throw in a few other things.  Funny I [...]

Day of the Dead

**could trigger  Dark Alters, SI, general anger at everyone, mother shit, oh cursing possibly**
Pretty sure Dth is back. So We’re shit up a creek if he really is. not sure how he got out.
sorry typin one handed because well….
Pretty sure we’re dead. Yup can’t feel so gotta be dead. still bleed…it was an accident…but dont [...]

Sponge Brain Regular Pants

I was going to say no pants since my brain doesn’t wear pants…that I’m aware of.
Anyway, back from my therapy session and there is so much to say.  The problem is me though…my brain is killing me! One of the really hard parts for me is wanting to learn and my insiders wanting me to [...]

Little bit more EMDR

Well someone else asked about this and I know I meant to update my own experiences so I thought I’d try again using the explanation I  gave this person as a jumping off point.  Here is what I said with a few tweaks thrown in to explain how DID fits in there (I was explaining [...]