When Protectors Attack

Oh, life goes crazy! I hate that feeling of this can’t be real, this can’t be my life right now. It feels like some crazy t.v. show. My mom and I got into a huge fight. I told her I needed some space, I needed to eat, I’d talk later. She kept pushing. God, I [...]

Post on hold

Won’t get to that post today. Having a rough day. Not sure when I’ll get to finishing it up. Went off to my appointment today and while I was looking both ways before crossing the street I thought I saw my grandma (a.k.a grammy – mom’s mom). Which is kinda dumb she’s been dead 17 [...]

Fragments, Rough Nights, & Dreams

Update: There are our worry dolls so far. I kind of like them without the faces but dunno. Usually when doing anything with people we don’t do a face.  On these sometimes it smudges (even though it’s permanent ink, it’s hard to do that small. I might redo the Little One doll wasn’t really sure [...]

First EMDR Processing Session, “Birth” of an Other & Update

So, long time, no write. Yeah, it’s been busy for me working, planning out my life, therapy, life drama, etc.  I’m looking through my drafts box here and WHOA! There are several things I’m not sure I posted but look like I should have.  I’ll have to sort that out some other time though.  I [...]

One Single Meaningful Relationship

So, this is the video: I was sitting there watching this and trying to think of one single meaningful relationship where I really felt that the other person was right there with me.  A relationship where I felt like I was heard and understood, cared about, empathized with, etc.  I suppose I somewhat had that [...]

Eidetic Memory and Trauma

Hi all! Oh my gosh I’m posting! Yeah, I’m finally getting around to posting again for tonight anyway.  So if anyone is still checking in on this “Hi again!” Things have been so crazy, and super busy for me.  I hardly get a minute and when I do, I try to just take sometime out [...]

Where I went “wrong”

I think I figured it out today, where I went “wrong” (see the clip).  The one “wrong” thing I did. I trusted. I think I’m slowly learning to live with that. It feels so horribly slow though sometimes, I get so frustrated with my trust issues. It hurts and it’s scary but slowly I’m learning [...]

Having a problem with saying the wrong thing

I almost always feel like I’m saying the wrong things in my outside life but now I realize I often find myself saying the wrong things in my inner world as well.  It makes me feel awful and I don’t know how to change it at the moment.  I’m not sure how to describe it [...]

Negative introjects and censors

Gah, I opened this window to post like an hour ago…forgot why I even wanted to type this (I knew what I wanted to say I just didn’t know what the point was or anything like that. Although most times I don’t know what the point is so…bah…anyway)…then I started reading other peoples blogs and [...]

The Ripple Effect

Man, dunno really what’s going on as of late. Been quiet. Not in my head so much (although 2 or more days in a row I had that scary blank mind feeling when no one is around), just I’m not talking to people much, not posting much anywhere, not goofing off (Little Parts), not reading, [...]