When Protectors Attack

Oh, life goes crazy! I hate that feeling of this can’t be real, this can’t be my life right now. It feels like some crazy t.v. show. My mom and I got into a huge fight. I told her I needed some space, I needed to eat, I’d talk later. She kept pushing. God, I [...]

First EMDR Processing Session, “Birth” of an Other & Update

So, long time, no write. Yeah, it’s been busy for me working, planning out my life, therapy, life drama, etc.  I’m looking through my drafts box here and WHOA! There are several things I’m not sure I posted but look like I should have.  I’ll have to sort that out some other time though.  I [...]

Eidetic Memory and Trauma

Hi all! Oh my gosh I’m posting! Yeah, I’m finally getting around to posting again for tonight anyway.  So if anyone is still checking in on this “Hi again!” Things have been so crazy, and super busy for me.  I hardly get a minute and when I do, I try to just take sometime out [...]

Fear and Privacy

Slightly nervous that a certain phone call came into the house and a message was maybe left about a certain medical study I applied to.  I don’t think they would have left details but I’m feeling really scared maybe they did.  All I know is my mom said there was a message on the machine [...]

Summer boredom & “MPD Psycho”

Well, made it through blogathon.  It was really great, still getting caught up with a few other bloggers I was interested in reading.  One of the hard things was not talking about DID.  Since I was blogging on my general survivor site and that’s not something I care to reveal there since I do let [...]

Failing to heed basic needs

* Ugh! I started this Tuesday and have been so tired I didn’t finish.  Don’t quite know why I start a post then don’t finish or feel like it’s not important so it ends up going to the draft monster! Therapy was really interesting today. Talked about a few things that have been on my [...]

Another Tuesday

I’ve been back from my appointment for several hours now and I’m just dead.  Feels, once again, like there are so many things from the last few weeks I wanted to say but they always end up getting pushed back for something more urgent.  I had a few things I wanted to talk to my [...]

Second Round, Part Two

Ok, here I go with my thoughts on the second episode of “United States of Tara”.  A friend text messaged me Sunday with the line from that opening scene, the one about DID being like hosting a kegger.  I cracked up and remembered a few of our ‘fine’ moments, yup I could agree with that [...]

Relationships: Men vs. Women

I woke up thinking about this subject for some reason but can’t remember what started it.  I was just aware I was thinking about how I’m so much closer to men than I am to women.  I don’t freak out if a guy wants to give me a hug but I spend so much time [...]

Getting into the Meat

This week I had my appointment on Monday which ended up really great, I needed the day to chill. Just started out with saying that things have gone back to usual for the most part with my mom and I.  We aren’t really talking but I’m less angry.  I still feel like I’m walking on [...]