Summer boredom & “MPD Psycho”

Well, made it through blogathon.  It was really great, still getting caught up with a few other bloggers I was interested in reading.  One of the hard things was not talking about DID.  Since I was blogging on my general survivor site and that’s not something I care to reveal there since I do let [...]

Maybe I’m a horrible child, maybe just blowing this up.

Lots of times I wonder just what the hell I did wrong to get the response I did from my family.  Lots of times I think maybe I’m just blowing things out of proportion, lots of times I think that’s what others will say too me.  I don’t talk about things because I get the [...]

Can I trade in my mother?

I’m having a difficult moment.  The day has been really rough. This is really the most present day I’ve had since last Tuesday and right now I’m trying to just find that little hiding niche right now because I’m just so exhausted from today.  The last few minutes have been really difficult due to mom [...]

Winner or Loser

I’m one of those survivors having a tough time with this weekend.  I suppose I’ve always been mixed up about this day but I think most of the time my feelings got blotted out/ignored.  A few years ago I started to realize how hard this Mother’s Day (Mothers) thing is for me because I have [...]

I’m sorry random post

I have to get this off my chest.  I’ve been holding onto this too long and I still can’t stop laughing or wondering about it. Everyone in my immediate family talks to them self (selves ?) EXCEPT my dad. I have caught my mother, I’ve caught my brother, and when she was still alive, my [...]

Relationships: Men vs. Women

I woke up thinking about this subject for some reason but can’t remember what started it.  I was just aware I was thinking about how I’m so much closer to men than I am to women.  I don’t freak out if a guy wants to give me a hug but I spend so much time [...]

Aftermath

I have all this stuff swirling around in my head (was struck down by what might be an inner ear virus causing extreme vertigo but that’s not the swirling ) today.  I thought maybe it was done swirling after I sorted out some feelings that popped up during a slight panic attack but, now I’m [...]

The third visit

Ok, I’m gonna try and get through this thing but a certain someone in my family is making a whole lot of noise and it’s really distracting!! I went to my third therapy appointment today, covered a lot.  I had a hard time handing over the DES sheets but I did.  I hesitated if she [...]

Hope it’s not a pink cloud

I just got back from my new therapist…and…I really think this could be it.  She was really nice and ok, I know this sounds maybe wierd but she has STUFF in her office!! lol! No that was the one thing that creeped me out a bit about my last therapist was there was literally nothing [...]

101 Days Later

Well I guess it’s offically 102 days later now.  I’m pretty sure July 17th was my last SI day.  I’ve tried hard not to even keep track of time in relation to that but I’m struggling so hard right now not to go back to it.  I’m growing more and more frustrated.  I get like [...]