Where I went “wrong”

I think I figured it out today, where I went “wrong” (see the clip).  The one “wrong” thing I did. I trusted. I think I’m slowly learning to live with that. It feels so horribly slow though sometimes, I get so frustrated with my trust issues. It hurts and it’s scary but slowly I’m learning [...]

27 years of anger

Holy…I was reading through some old post/comments wow I cannot spell for sh!t! haha! Anyway, I never did that post on guilt did I? I can’t remember very well the last time I posted, seems like I always have something I want to post and then I get ‘distracted’.  I got distracted on the way [...]

When Others Worry & the Truth About Stranger Danger

I really cannot stand when other people worry about my safety.  I was having a pretty good start to the day and then I went to open an email from my dad.  I’m not sure if I posted it here or else where but, a while back a person he knew was attacked while out [...]

Getting into the Meat

This week I had my appointment on Monday which ended up really great, I needed the day to chill. Just started out with saying that things have gone back to usual for the most part with my mom and I.  We aren’t really talking but I’m less angry.  I still feel like I’m walking on [...]

Hope it’s not a pink cloud

I just got back from my new therapist…and…I really think this could be it.  She was really nice and ok, I know this sounds maybe wierd but she has STUFF in her office!! lol! No that was the one thing that creeped me out a bit about my last therapist was there was literally nothing [...]

Rescuers

I’ve been thinking about this for quite sometime, I’m not even sure how long or how it started really.  I guess I had been thinking about people, wondered why I thought about them so much. Then I started reading up on Complex PTSD and realized that it made sense.  It’s been hard for me to [...]

Becoming Hypervigilant

It’s sad really… I got this email from my dad. There’s been some events around here and he wrote concerned about my safety.  I’m not entirely sure why but, I get really upset and even angry when people worry about me.  I guess more so maybe when it’s my parents.  They worry about me when [...]

Underground

It’s a pretty nice day today so I’m able to stay on my laptop a little longer.  *shakes fist at the fan that’s dying* I feel like there is all this stuff I’ve been wanting to write about, wanting to get out. It’s all gotten bottled up though. I did write a little in my [...]

Take a second and do some good with your Saturday!

I was just popping in for a minute to check a few things before I have to shut down (too hot, forgot I need the laptop until at least Wed. so fan not fixed yet.) so, I was just reading the new post that come up with the tag surfer and came across something really [...]

Long and Upsetting Day/Night

Just a post before the Remeron kicks in and knocks us out. It’s been a long and upsetting day and night. The day started out bad with a note left to me. It set off a lot of triggers. It set off a bad SI session that ended in us being close to fainting, I [...]