In the Event of an Emergency: Or What If Someone Finds All My “Crazy”?

Whenever I get really sick or, something bad happens to someone I know, or I watch or read something that gets me thinking about making sure I have plans made for myself in the event something happens to me.  In the end I know how I feel about what I would want or how to deal with different situations that might pop up in those times, except for one thing.  What about all this stuff I have collected that relates to  me and my life as a person with D.I.D.?

Seriously, sometimes I sit bolt upright in bed in the middle of the night thinking “Oh my god! What would happen if my family found all this?”  Well, right now given that I live with family for a little while longer it sometimes feels like a pretty real concern.  I may be moving more into a limbo living situation and I’m still not sure what to do with my stuff, take it all with me, see if my T will hold on to it, or leave it here and hope to hell “Ms. Snoopy Pants” doesn’t get into it.  Sometimes I have this vision in my head of something out of “Sybil” where someone stumbles upon all my stuff in a storage locker, an attic, or an apartment.  How bizarre and confusing for someone would that be to find someone’s “crazy” (and by that I mean all our writing, drawings, photos, etc).  More so I think for my family it would be very strange, confusing, upsetting, etc.  I kind of imagine it would probably even enrage them in someway.  Maybe enrage isn’t quite the word but I don’t think they’d be too happy.  I would put them in the camp of “She made up all this weird stuff about having Multiple Personality Disorder, it’s very strange.  It seems she was very obsessed with the idea. I don’t know why? She made up all this stuff about our family…”  I would imagine them thinking that I needed help only not the type of help that I am currently receiving but the kind of help to convince me I was mistaken, or that D.I.D. isn’t real.  (I’m basing that in part on a conversation with my mom about a friend of mine which ended with her saying something like “Don’t trust people like that, people make stuff up all the time”.  Which yes but…no, this was not the case.)

So am I paranoid? Maybe.

Do other multiples out there worry about their collection of stuff?  How do you keep it all safe?  Do you store it some physical place, or do you have it all digital and destroy originals? Do you not worry/care at all if people/friends/family were to find it? Do you have an emergency plan for your stuff?  What would you want to happen to it if someone found it or if you’ve entrusted it to someone?